Earthquaking Los Angeles: Doorframes, desks or departure?

The floor shakes, the walls shake, the desk that you're sitting at shakes, as if the whole world is on a roller coaster. The feeling of powerlessness is overwhelming. There is nowhere to run away to and nothing to do but wait, breath abated. Around the office the staff laugh nervously to one another while edging their way toward the sanctity of a door frame. The first instinct is to run outside and be in the open air, but nature controls, overwhelms the landscape and there is no escape.
5.4 magnitude earthquake hits Los Angeles. Not as bad as it could be. Just the earth letting off steam. We haven't had one for a while, so this was long-past due. In the long run, it is better to see lots of small-to-medium quakes rock Southern California that to add fuel for “the big one”. This is part of living in Los Angeles – one major liability undercuts the way of life here and threatens to throw the whole system into chaos. Cell phones shut down, the gas and water get turned off, everyone gets a little humbler for the day.

Magnitude
5.4 - moment magnitude (Mw)
Time
Tuesday, July 29, 2008 at 11:42:15 AM (PDT)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008 at 18:42:15 (UTC)
Distance from
Chino Hills, CA - 4 km (3 miles) WSW (240 degrees)
Diamond Bar, CA - 7 km (5 miles) SE (135 degrees)
Yorba Linda, CA - 8 km (5 miles) NNE (16 degrees)
Pomona, CA - 12 km (7 miles) S (184 degrees)
Los Angeles Civic Center, CA - 46 km (28 miles) ESE (104 degrees)
Coordinates
33 deg. 57.3 min. N (33.955N), 117 deg. 45.9 min. W (117.765W)
Depth
13.6 km (8.5 miles)

What to do in an earthquake (according to FEMA):

If indoors:

• DROP to the ground; take COVER by getting under a sturdy table or other piece of furniture; and HOLD ON on until the shaking stops. If there isn’t a table or desk near you, cover your face and head with your arms and crouch in an inside corner of the building. So basically, there is no choice. If you're at work or on a date, you are going to have to make a decision to look silly, or die. Or you can play the office game: see who can last the longest without squealing fearfully and crawling under the table.
• Stay away from glass, windows, outside doors and walls, and anything that could fall, such as lighting fixtures or furniture. Do not take shelter under the chandelier.
• Stay in bed if you are there when the earthquake strikes. Hold on and protect your head with a pillow, unless you are under a heavy light fixture that could fall. In that case, move to the nearest safe place. Cover your head with the pillow and you've got the perfect excuse to sleep all day. In fact, why not use fear of earthquakes as an excuse more often?
• Use a doorway for shelter only if it is in close proximity to you and if you know it is a strongly supported, load-bearing doorway. FEMA-approved doorways display a sign that reads: "Stand under me, I'll protect you" - with the approved earthquake smiley face.
• Stay inside until shaking stops and it is safe to go outside. Research has shown that most injuries occur when people inside buildings attempt to move to a different location inside the building or try to leave. No more running-outside-screaming. That's too '80s.
• Be aware that the electricity may go out or the sprinkler systems or fire alarms may turn on. Impromptu party time.
• DO NOT use the elevators. What?! It's the apocolypse and we've got to take the stairs?!

If outdoors:

• Stay there. OK. Random standing around...slightly awkward. At least put your arms out as if steadying yourself or commanding the earth to steady. Look around authoritatively.
• Move away from buildings, streetlights, and utility wires. And roads and paths and air. And grass.
• Once in the open, stay there until the shaking stops. The greatest danger exists directly outside buildings, at exits, and alongside exterior walls. Many of the 120 fatalities from the 1933 Long Beach earthquake occurred when people ran outside of buildings only to be killed by falling debris from collapsing walls. Ground movement during an earthquake is seldom the direct cause of death or injury. Most earthquake-related casualties result from collapsing walls, flying glass, and falling objects/chandeliers.

If in a moving vehicle:

• Stop as quickly as safety permits and stay in the vehicle. Avoid stopping near or under buildings, trees, overpasses, and utility wires. Or on roads. This will not be a problem if you are in under-developed parts of Africa and not leaving the parking lot at Ralphs.
• Proceed cautiously once the earthquake has stopped. Avoid roads, bridges, or ramps that might have been damaged by the earthquake. Bear in mind that everything around you may contain concealed damage that will consume your car as soon as you disturb it.

If trapped under debris:

• Do not light a match. No matter how badly you need a cigarette right now.
• Do not move about or kick up dust. Do not play the "kick-up-dust" game to relieve bordeom while trapped. Do not play pictionary or any other games that may cause arguments between trapees.
• Cover your mouth with a handkerchief or clothing. Good. I'm glad we all still carry hankerchiefs.
• Tap on a pipe or wall so rescuers can locate you. Use a whistle if one is available. Shout only as a last resort. Shouting can cause you to inhale dangerous amounts of dust. Whatever you do, do not scream "help me". As rational as this seems, it may kill you and therefore have the opposite effect desired.